Why people don’t want to be good leaders?

Why people don’t want to be good leaders?

The other day I was thinking: why do we still have so many bad leadership examples? The world is bursting with information about great leadership. Each year, universities graduate multiple cohorts of future leaders, and yet, the challenge persists. I wonder: are people ignoring the information, or do they resist their authentic leadership potential to create mindful and caring corporations?

One might ask, “Why would someone not want to make a change and be the difference?” The answer I came up with is quite complex and multi-layered—it takes immense courage to face oneself, step out of the comfort zone, and change one’s mindset to become a great leader.

It takes courage to face yourself

Self-awareness is the essential part of a great leader. It is also one of the scariest things in the world of a human being. Complete honesty with ourselves is often painful, as it forces us to face our own duality: the “good” and the “bad.” Throughout the ages, the “good” has been praised and the “bad” has been punished. We learned to showcase only our bright side and turn a blind eye to our darkness, as it was “not fit for purpose” or something to be ashamed of. True self-awareness does not allow us to lie or pretend—it gives us the chance to see who we really are. And sometimes that full picture is not so cool in the beginning.

Many people are used to judging themselves and others. For them, duality is about good or bad, right or wrong, black or white… So when they see a growth or development opportunity, they immediately give themselves a verdict: they either “failed” or did something “wrong,” both of which require punishment. They keep punishing themselves and looking for proof that this is exactly what they deserve. If only they replaced that OR with AND! The simple three-letter word “AND” makes all the difference. It means we no longer need to choose—it triggers our curiosity about how to make our opposing powers work together in tandem.

Great leadership requires vulnerability

You should see the faces of leaders when I say the word “vulnerability.” 🙂 The “best” reaction I’ve ever received was, “Oh, it’s a women’s thing.” It seems that not many people know courage is impossible without vulnerability. Luckily, we have globally recognized leaders such as Satya Nadella, Howard Schultz, Indra Nooyi, and others whose vulnerability-based leadership styles have been pivotal to the success of the corporations they lead.

I echo Brene Brown’s statement that “vulnerability is a measurement of true courage”. It takes guts to stand before your team, peers, or organization, fully aware of your strengths and weaknesses: making a speech when you know your communication skills need improvement, saying out loud, “I don’t know”, bringing an uncomfortable topic to the table, or asking for honest feedback. It is uncomfortable, scary and inconvenient. Not many of us want to put ourselves in those situations. We either lie, pretend, or fake things to avoid it.

When I think about moments when I have witnessed and admired someone’s courage I realise, those were moments of utmost vulnerability. I remember being in awe of someone’s ability to be so vulnerable. That experience affected me so much that it inspires my courage to date.

Historically, vulnerability was seen as a synonym for “weakness,” which is why many people still avoid it. This mindset can change by accepting that there is no courage without vulnerability. If you don’t know where to start, try these behaviors:
1. Align behaviours with values
2. Cultivate trust
3. Foster resilience
3. Share your own stories (successes and failures)
4. Ask for feedback
5. Be present and attentive
Resources: Leadership HQBrené Brown: Dare to Lead

Photo: Nataliya Vaitkevich

Great leadership takes effort

Staying in our usual and well-known behavior is effortless. After all, living in an automated habit world is convenient, easy, and comfortable. However, change requires effort. Sometimes it’s a pause before a reAction, sometimes additional attention and presence, and sometimes a decision to wait before responding.  

Doing something new brings us back to vulnerability. What if the first attempt isn’t successful? What if five or ten attempts aren’t enough? What will others say? Is the risk of failure worth the reward? Our inner critics are so creative! They have so many voices and convincing arguments. However, discipline and determination can surely defeat them.

Change, to be successful, doesn’t need to be huge! Embrace change by starting it yourself: build new habits, establish routines, and learn new things. Do whatever it takes to make change an essential part of your life.

Conclusion

Being self-aware and embracing vulnerability is painful and uncomfortable process. It takes a lot of time and effort, and results might not even show immediately. It takes incredible courage to go through this process again and again, and only the truly brave can do it.

Embracing our own authenticity prevents us from joining the rat race to be “the best” and instead encourages us to become “the best version of ourselves”—self-aware, relatable, empathetic, and compassionate human beings. These are the leaders everyone wants to have.

"Being your true self is the highway to success".

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