About “knowing”

About “knowing”

How often do we look outside to find answers to our questions? We ask family, friends, teachers, healers and whoever we can think of for their advice or opinion. However all we do is ask them to tell us something that we already know… I used to wonder why? Do we really think that other people know us better than ourselves? Do they really know what’s our mission and what’s best for us?

Responsibility is lighter when it’s shared

Sometimes it’s hard to make choices. And it doesn’t matter if we need to decide which dress to wear or which car to buy – we’re not always completely sure if: a) that’s „really the best“ b) all arguments have been analysed c) it will bring result that we’re wishing for. Of course, sometimes we’re just curious how others see the world and whether we could benefit from that. If I think about it, back in childhood days we got used to ask for permissions/approvals/help with decisions… The time went on, we grew up but some of us somehow stayed in that „approval period“.

Why such behaviour is useful for us? On the contrary, some might say! „I wish I could make choices as easily as you do“, one of my friends says. Another asks for advice how to make choices independently, but does she use it? Well, sometimes… maybe… In my humble opinion the main reason behind all of this is shared responsibility. Whenever someone shares his/her view or opinion or even advice which we follow, we can go back to them and, if something goes wrong, say „oh, I listened to you and now look where I am“! Sometimes it’s good to know that we are not the only ones with such a view… It’s not only us who screwed up or did something not uber smart. Maybe it even gives us the feeling that we are not so bad after all, because he/she thought so as well…

And you know what – it works! For some time… or the lifetime for someone… However some of us realise that it’s nothing more than a dependency… an addiction… Not so sinful as drugs or alcohol but still slowly eating the soul… In a long run we start feeling scared or incapacitated to make our own decisions… Others feel too much need to participate in our lives to „help and save“ us. Everyone starts living everyone’s life. We all become extended families… experts of someone else’s destiny…

Look inside

How to break this circle? The answer sounds simple – take responsibility for your choices. „But how?“ someone asks. It’s scary and insecure after all these years of stagnation. The truth is that all the wisdom is inside us – we are born with it! It’s just that… not always we know how to reach it and use it. Have you ever thought that your body is wiser than your brain? When I put my finger onto something hot I don’t wait till my brain thinks to move it, I do it straight away – instinctively. We all have our instincts, wisdom and knowledge which we’ve absorber through our entire lives – that’s a fact. The question is – how do we access it?

Believe me or not it’s really simple – calm down! 🙂 Have you ever noticed that the most brilliant ideas come when you least expect them – in the shower, exercising or doing something completely unrelated to the topic, that is when the brain is not chasing the answer. It shows up when we are relaxed and ready to hear ourselves. Out of a sudden there is „eureka“ moment and then you know! At least I know 🙂 It is interesting to notice that when the knowing comes even the strongest argumentation can’t beat it.

For me in the beginning it was scary. The brain resisted as much as it could causing loads of „what ifs“ and searches for reasonable arguments until I started trusting it… completely… At first it felt unsafe to cut the cord, to unleash myself and silence all the advisors. I felt somewhat „not enough“ for the weirdest reasons… Till I realised the truth – we all are the highest source of wisdom for ourselves! Then I started appreciating and respecting it. Now I know that all the choices I make (however weird and inexplicable they look to others – and believe me, they do 🙂 ) lead me to the best experiences. There are situations where it takes me additional effort to be OK when not understood, but, oh well, that’s the way to grow.

Remember, there is only one YOU on earth hence nobody else can know better. Whenever you feel lost or confused look inside and give yourself time! Stop running, calm down, go for a walk, distract yourself completely – you will be surprised how easily and naturally decisions and answers come to you themselves.

"Being your true self is the highway to success".

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